SUSPICIONS: 14

I remember once, during Christmas, when the snow was frosted on our window panes and mum kept the room warm and aglow with fire from the fireplace.
That Christmas was particularly memorable because Johnny was having a terrible fever and mum and I, hovered over him. I remember crying and praying he would be fine. He was miserable and in so much pain. I wouldn’t go to bed and I wanted to carry him in my arms but mum would not let me, instead, she told me a story of herself.
Her mother had been a brilliant Nigerian student who came to America on scholarship. She had fallen in love with a black American and gotten herself pregnant. She had mum and gave her up for adoption. Her father died from bullet wounds after a white cop mistook him for a wanted criminal. He never knew about the pregnancy.
Mum stayed at the orphanage till she was 16 and she left. She always had a mind of her own, she used to say, “it was better that I was not adopted. Life is easier, without the responsibility of a past.” She found her mum, a notable professor of Mathematics in Nigeria and they were good friends, till her death a few years ago.
I had not remembered that incident for a long time, but as I was going through mum’s things, the memories just came flooding back. I guess it also had something to do with Trevor’s recent behavior. There certainly was something but he wouldn’t tell me. Mum had ended her story to me that night with, “nothing remains a secret for too long. If it gets too elusive, let it be. It will come looking for you.”

I wondered what it was that he was not going to tell. My mind was filled with all sort of possibilities and how long it would take before it found me. I have not asked about it for a day and half now and the wait was killing.
Johnny came bounding into my room, some ice cream smeared at the corner of his lips.

“Johnny, you will ruin your teeth,” I chided him.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hands. “I just had a little.” I eyed him and went back to sorting out mum’s things. There were her diaries, about four of them and her cell phone. I was going to start with the phone. It was not as if he listened. Charlice said I have become his mum overnight.

He was still standing there and his presence was distracting. “What now?”
He shrugged. “Trevor has been trying to call you.”
“My battery is flat.” I lied. I had actually put it off because I did not want him to call me.
He arched his brow in a question and folded something looking like arms on his tiny chest

“What?” I queried.
“You don’t want to speak with him….I know.”
I was getting irritated annoyed with his snobbish, stuck up, I can tell attitude. “Oh be gone Johnny. I will call him please.”

He left, and in a few minutes, was back. He perched at the door.
“Have you called him?”
“What is that to you? Please go away.”

He left and was back again in another few minutes. The thing about being liked by an eight, almost nine year old boy was, they idolized you and always took your sides, even against their own sisters, turned mothers.
In between, the intervals, I had looked through mum’s phone and it was bland. No clues to anything, just a series of messages. Her contact list was sparse and tasteless. From all, what I grasped was that she called me the most and called Aslem, her doctor. I also discovered that we were all insured and that she and dad had set up a trust for Johnny and I. I was yawning my life away when Johnny showed up again. The guy was bugging my life.

“Call him now.” He commanded and walked away. I stared after his retreating figure, wishing I could smack him really hard.

A mischievous thought popped into my head. I would call him with mum’s phone and pretend it wasn’t me.
I dialled his number and his fore saved caller ID popped up. Mum had Trevor’s number in her phone and Trevor was blinking from the screen at me. I froze in shock. This was not what I expected at all.
Mum had known him and called him Trevor. She had spoken to him on phone, she had been speaking to him. Graphic images of other things they might have done together filled my head.
I wish I had called with my phone instead, or not even called at all. I didn’t want him to pick up anymore but I could not bring my hands to cooperate with me and end the call.

At the second ring, he picked up and his voice filled my head. . “Jade please….listen to me please. It is not what you think. I can explain. I was going to tell you, believe me.”

“Trevor…..how long has…has….this been going on?”
There was a pregnant pause from the other side. My stomach tied themselves in deep knots. “Once. It was only one time. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid you will misunderstand me. Jade, it was only once…”

Once what?

The phone slipped from my suddenly stiff hands. I was trembling, I was numb, I was staring into space. All I could think of was, Trevor was my mum’s lover.

And of course he would know mum loved us and couldn’t have committed suicide.

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